Fat People

Fat people are disgusting and repulsive. They have no self-discipline or control and are an utter disgrace to the human race. They are self-indulgent to the extreme. I hate every atom in their vile, bloated, lard-ridden bodies. All that matters to them is what's next to shove down their greedy fat gobs!

Don’t they realize how positively disgusting they look? How hideously fat and ugly. Why aren’t they thoroughly ashamed of themselves? Why don’t they stay indoors out of my sight? Surely these overweight fatties must look at themselves in the mirror and feel appalled at the sight. Assuming they do, then why don’t they do something about it? I’ll tell you why, it's because they’re too bloody 'let's stuff my face' lazy!

Now don’t get me wrong, a beer gut is obviously cool. Having a big beer belly is a sure sign of class and contentment – but let’s not confuse this with the real slobs of society who continually stuff food down their gluttonous throats. What’s the matter with them? Do they think that all the shops are suddenly going to run out of food, so they have to stuff as much grub in their mouths as they can before it happens?– I mean, I really want to know.

What is so sad or even comical, is that many of these fat bastards are on diets! Do me a favour you lazy fat slobs. It’s quite simple – put away your “lose weight now” books, calorie controlled diets, slim-fast supplements. Forget your visit to Weight-Watcher sessions or your woeful attempts at exercise…if you want to lose weight…

…DON’T BLOODY WELL EAT SO MUCH!!!!!

If you eat a lot you get fat, if you don’t eat a lot you don't get fat . Bloody simple really.

How difficult is that for Christ’s sake?

Some of these fat people will argue their innocence…" It's not my fault, I have big bones, its my metabolism, it’s in my genes." Yeah right! The only things that’s in their jeans is their gargantuan fat cellulite butt!.

And answer me this, why don’t these collosal bloaters have to pay double for their air fares? It must take twice as much fuel to get the aircraft off the ground with these enormous tubbies onboard, that is if their expansive buttocks can fit in the seats. Never mind, I suppose the normal, self controlled, average weight people will just have to subsidise them. How fair is that?

In additional of course, because of their pathetic lack of will power, they become so fat and grotesque that they develop health problems. What a surprise! Did they expect carrying around an extra 5-10 stone of lard around was good for them? When was the last time you saw an old fat person? Of course it is the average man in the street, Mr Taxpayer who has to foot the heath bill for these fat obese slobs.

The solution therefore is obvious, every person in the country should be seen by a doctor once a year by law and if they are deemed more than 3 stone overweight they have their mouths surgically wired shut until they are thin. Simple and effective treatment – they lose weight, we save money – everyone’s happy. Plus we can all point and laugh at them.

Job done.

Coming soon...

Blokes That Don't Like Sport
Slap Heads
Cyclists in Lycra
Women Golfers
People Who Wash Their Cars
Idiots Who Smoke
Blokes That Don't Drink
Woman Are Hideous (Part 2)
Poofs and Dykes
Taxi Drivers
Committee Members
Dog Owners
Caravaners
Car Boot Sale Enthusiasts