Blokes That Don't Like Sport

Hard to imagine really, but apparently such ‘men’ do exist.

The calendar is filled with a glittering array of enthralling and exciting sporting events, some of which can literally take your breath away. The tension and drama of our top sporting moments is better than sex for most men.

We all have our preferred sporting events, and there are too many to mention them all, but where would we be without The Premier League, The Champions League, The Open, The Ryder Cup, The Six Nations, Test Matches vs. the Aussies, The Grand National? Each bloke has is own particular favourite and nothing will stop him from watching it unfold. Nothing. Superb excitement and high drama. The outcome can make you feel absolutely elated, on top of the world, or it can make you miserable, desolate and devastated. Not just watching of course, but participating too. How else do you expect to get away from the wife and kids for hours on end if you don't play a bit of golf or some other sport?

Yet amazingly some blokes don’t watch, don't play and aren’t interested.

When I first met a bloke like this I was shocked, stunned, speechless. I didn’t know how to respond, how to react. It was like someone saying that they didn’t drink beer! I mean it just didn’t make sense. What do they do instead? Sew buttons on their shirts, do the ironing, bake a cake? – I mean come on! What on earth do they talk about when they go down the pub? ? It makes you want to give them a good kicking.

Clearly they are assholes of the highest order and have something severely wrong with them.

At least with women you know where they are with regard to sport. They don’t watch it ever, period. That’s understandable and fair enough. Assuming we watch sports that we enjoyed playing at one time or another, its hard to imagine getting worked up watching a game of netball or rounders (unless they are topless of course).

So women don’t watch sport, but blokes do and that’s that.

What then are we to do with these ‘male’ oddities?

To start with they need to be shunned and despised at every opportunity, that’s goes without saying, but I don’t think that is going far enough. Perhaps, since these blokes wish to be like girls, we should grant their wishes and hack off their dicks! Yes, clearly castration is the solution. We can then insist they have 'Dickless Twat' tattooed on their foreheads to warn them from the rest of us proper blokes. Job done!

(I've just had a horrific thought. Although I am leaving the topic of 'Blokes That Don’t Drink' for a later blog, it has just occurred to me that there might actually be a bloke somewhere who doesn’t watch sport or drink – bloody hell!!! What the phuck are we supposed to with him?)

Coming Soon...

Slap Heads
Cyclists in Lycra
Women Golfers
People Who Wash Their Cars
Idiots Who Smoke
Blokes That Don't Drink
Woman Are Hideous (Part 2)
Poofs and Dykes
Taxi Drivers
Committee Members
Dog Owners
Caravaners
Car Boot Sale Enthusiasts
Mobile Phones on Trains
Men in Replica Football Shirts