Unsolicited Phone Calls

I am truly amazed that in these enlightened days, and with such an amazing choice of advertising media available , fast communications, interactive TV, the internet, etc that some firms still employ the old cold telephone call technique to sell their shoddy wares!

After all, who in their right mind is going to re-mortgage their house or change their insurance company just because some stranger has disturbed them as they were eating their dinner or having a leisurely crap? It really does beggar belief!

I just don’t get it.

How can this sales technique possibly work? Perhaps the only people who would fall for this type of nonsense are the weak, vulnerable or elderly – if this is the case then it is truly shameful and the firms should be outlawed.

To me, when the phone rings in my house I expect it to be from somebody I bloody well know – not some arsehole with a prepared script from India, Ireland or wherever. I take great offence to these calls and tell them straight, no nonsense. I suggest you all do the same. It is not just a flaming nuisance, but a real invasion of privacy.

I know people have different techniques for dealing with these nuisance calls. From saying they are not in, to leaving the phone off the hook for 20 minutes, to not answering the phone and dialling 1471 to see who it was straight after, to saying ring back later, to politely and firmly saying they will think about it. However there is a much easier and satisfying technique that I use myself…

Ring, ring, ring

“Hello”

Long pause – click – pause

“Hello is that Mr Miserable Old B’stad”

Reluctantly, “Yes” (Just in case it is important – you never know)

“And are you the homeowner?”

“FUCK OFF!!!”

Simple really. If everybody did the same, they would all stop doing this sort of thing within a fortnight.

Another problem sorted!

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