Car Boot Sale Enthusiasts

What a bunch of boring, tedious cretins! Who in their right mind would want to get up at the crack of dawn, load up their car boot with worthless tatt and spend the best part of the weekend in a muddy field haggling over the price of a used Tupperware container? Prize twats!

Okay, so I admit that I have taken part in a car boot sale (CBS) myself – ONCE! Only the once, and never ever again! As a total one off, in an attempt to clear all the crap from the house in one go, if you are moving house for example, it might (dare I say it) be almost sensible - but can you believe that some people actually go to car boot sales on a regular basis? Unbelievable!

However it gets even worse! As I understand it (now don’t laugh) but some people go to car boot sales to ‘buy’ stuff and not sell! Incredible – they voluntarily get up early on a Sunday morning (when they should be sleeping off a hangover, or at the very least shagging the missus) and then incredibly and devastatingly they ‘choose’ to go bargain hunting at the local CBS! A more clearer definition of mindless brain-dead morons there can never be.

Imagine the hell of fumbling around in the back of a dirty R reg Volvo, sorting through the useless crap that even these pathetic individuals don’t want. Must be some great stuff eh? It's nothing short of shocking –insanity – pure and simple.

Now excuse me if I am missing something here, but if you want to sell second hand goods then sell them on ebay for phucks sake! Then instead of a few sad people looking at your shit on a wet weekend, you can offer it to a global audience of literally millions of potential customers, plus of course you can stay in bed. How hard it that?

I’ll tell you why car boot sellers don’t use ebay, it’s because they are so phucking pig ignorant and mind blowingly thick that they don’t have the intelligence to turn on a computer and follow a few simple instructions! Stupid dumb phuckers, hope next time they catch pneumonia exhibiting their wares in the rain and all bloody well die off! Then next time I’m out driving on a Sunday morning I won’t be caught in a phucking traffic queue where all these sad pratts are turning right into a muddy field to sell their worthless cack. Good luck.

Coming soon...

Mobile Phones on Trains
Men in Replica Football Shirts
Pikey Gypo Low-life
People With Personal Number Plates
BBC Local Radio
Unsolicited Phone Calls
Jehovah’s Witnesses & Other Religious Twats
Lager Drinkers
People Who Think Their Kids Are Cute
Civil Servants
Morris Dancers
Women Drivers
Viewers of ‘Reality TV’
Blokes That Shave Their Heads to Look ‘Hard’
Traffic Wardens are ‘cool’