Dog Owners

It is quite obvious to me that anyone who owns a dog is mentally insane, disgustingly unhygienic and a scourge on society. If it wasn’t that dogs are (for some bizarre reason) an accepted part of modern society then I am sure most people would run a mile from these flea-ridden ratbags.

Man’s best friend – my phucking arse! Just look at the facts…

Dogs stink, lick their own bollocks and arsehole, shit disgustingly on the pavement, have fleas, dribble slimy disease ridden saliva over anyone who comes into contact with them, jump up and ruin clothes with mud and shit coated paws, bark incessantly at nothing, ruin carpets and furniture, cost a fortune to feed and maintain and even kill and maim kids!

What person in their right mind would entertain the idea of having one of these hideous monstrosities as a pet? Phucking brain dead morons – nothing less!

I could and perhaps should end my blog here as there can be absolutely no disagreement against any of these points, but just in case you are thicker than the phucking thickest thing that ever existed I’ll take them one by one and ram them up your sad arse! Right then…

Dogs stink – No arguments here – they phucking well stink. Not just their repulsive bad breath but their smelly arse and mingey coat! It’s not the dogs fault I know, if I never brushed my teeth or wiped my arse, I would stink like phuck too! Dogs also have the incredible ability to find things that actually stink more than they do (like a dead animal) and take great pleasure in rolling in it till they stink just as bad. Lovely pets eh?

Dogs lick their own bollocks and shit stained arsehole –Yes they do and how vile is that? No wonder their breath smells so bad! Yet most dog owners kiss their dogs and let them lick their faces and think it’s cute! Horrific. Most even let these filthy animals lick their dinner plates ‘clean’ after eating. Mind bogglingly disgusting filth!

Dogs shit – This is the worst of the lot! Yes I know we all shit – but dog owners are dirty and nauseating and let them crap on the streets, paths and public footpaths! Yeah I know that they sometimes take a token supermarket bag or nappy sack to ‘supposedly’ pick up the shit if it is done in full view of anyone, but we all know they would leave it where it was dumped if at all possible. This is totally unforgivable and if I ever catch a dog owner leaving a pile of stinking shit for others to tread in I will make them eat it I swear! It really is disgusting and simply not acceptable.

I live near a Primary School and not a week goes past without a big pile of dog shit being left in the middle of the path on the way to it. Little children running and playing on their way to school, only to tread in a steaming pile of dogs shit that some unscrupulous owner has left for them. This is an offence that should carry imprisonment.

We know that dog owners, forced to take their scruffy flee ridden pets out for their early evening walk would just love to leave the pile of crap where it is. A guilty look around, and if nobody is looking, just leave the turd where it lays and PHUCK everyone else. How they must love the long winter evenings when they can let their dog shit and crap under the cover of darkness. Bastards!

Even if the owner has been seen and feels obliged to pick the shit up– who in their right mind would want to do such a thing? Using a plastic bag as a glove to happily pick up a smelly disease ridden stinking dogs turd! Anyone who does that is clearly mentally insane. So why have a phucking dog in the first place you retard? I bet your back garden is host to several dozen shit sculptures, perfect for the children to play in. God, words fail me in my utter contempt and disgust at people who have dogs. They really must be as thick as the shit they pretend to clean up! And another thing when your vile pet has the runs how the hell do you clean that up?. Scoop it up with a spoon? Filthy disgusting vile perverted foul grotesque people! Gah!

I used to like to take country walks – but everywhere I sodding go there are dog owners. I cannot look around and admire the beautiful English countryside, the majestic trees, the fantastic scenery, the sky, the wildlife– I literally have to spend my whole phucking time looking down at the ground in case I treading in dog shit! Really it is too much.

Dogs have fleas – Yep, they all get them at some stage, plus other repulsive things. Yet most owners let them climb on the sofa, cuddle them and let them sleep on their beds. Revolting!

Dogs dribble – Hideous slimy thick saliva stinking of bad breath, dog shit and whatever they’ve eaten. It slops down on your shoes, on your clothes and on the carpet. Absolutely disgusting filth!

Dogs jump up at you – Well they don’t at me ‘cause I kick the phuckers before they get a chance to get their mud, shit coated paws anywhere near me. Others are not so lucky and get their clothes ruined by some stupid mutt that jumps up and runs their dirty paws down them. “He’s only trying to be friendly” they say – yeah right, perhaps I can get friendly with my Glock.

Dogs bark – Dogs are phucking thick as shit and bark at anything. Stupid rabid mongrels. I phucking hate them and the noise they make. Who wants to be woken up early on a Sunday morning by some stupid phucking dog that decides it wants to ball and scream the odds? Words fail me why anyone would want to own such a stupid animal.

Dogs ruin things – They chew things up, ruin furniture, piss and crap on carpets, scratch things and make everything smelly and covered in hairs. Very nice – I wish I had a dog! (I am so angry I can hardly contain my contempt and revulsion at dog owners)

Dogs cost a lot to feed and maintain – As if the above points weren’t enough for all dog owners to immediately shoot or strangle their canine companions it occurred to me that these animals must cost good money to feed. I have no interest in finding out how much a can of dog food costs or how much the mixer biscuits are, but I assume they are not cheap. Yet amazingly and pathetically dog owners will lay out this money to keep these foul beasts! Yet more – these animals need health care, vet bills, and some even pay for insurance. It is truly breathtaking that people do this, it really is.

Dogs can maim and kill - Of course their dog won’t, it's just so lovable. It’s always somebody else’s dog that does that sort of thing. Yes it’s a rare occurrence I grant you, but what sane person would take the risk, however small. Dogs are animals, pure and simple and are consequently unpredictable. Most have powerful jaws with pointed teeth that can maim or kill children and babies. It astonishes me that people take this risk however nice their pet seems to be most of the time. How a grown adult can let their little toddler play near a dog is quite frightening and the owners should be locked up for negligence! The risk maybe small, probably miniscule but how can they possibly take the risk? They are gambling with their childs life! It’s really is truly awesome in its stupidness and utter selfishness! A dog however docile can attack at any time and there are countless examples of this. Really this it so irresponsible that I am quite overcome with rage and contempt. Owners that allow this should have their children taken into care and be locked up – they are stupefying thick, as thick as arseholes!

As you can probably gather from this blog – I don’t care much for dogs, nor their owners! After reading this it must surely be impossible to disagree. How can anybody put up a sane and sensible argument against what I have written? What is mind blowing is that most dog owners don’t realise what they are doing, or why they have one. My god, some owners even have several dogs – can you imagine that? My brain cannot comprehend the unpleasantness.

Dog ownership must stop now! All male dogs should be castrated, breeders closed down and preferably all dogs put down humanely. At the very least let them die out completely, so after 12-15 years none of these disgusting creatures will be around.

What bliss!

Good dog, good boy! – In my opinion the only good dog is a phucking dead one .

Good luck.

Coming soon…

Caravaners
Car Boot Sale Enthusiasts
Mobile Phones on Trains
Men in Replica Football Shirts
Pikey Gypo Low-life
People With Personal Number Plates
BBC Local Radio
Unsolicited Phone Calls
Jehovah’s Witnesses & Other Religious Twats
Lager Drinkers
People Who Think Their Kids Are Cute
Civil Servants
Morris Dancers
Women Drivers
Viewers of ‘Reality’ TV