There can not be many things in life worse than sitting next to a person on a train who is on his mobile phone talking to a friend. It is a truly appalling experience that no person should have to endure. I am deadly serious here – it should be against the law. In fact any normal person with morals or an understanding of social etiquette would not use his mobile on a train or indeed anywhere where others might be in earshot and unable to easily move away. It is rude, uncomfortable, offensive, annoying and is PHUCKING WELL OUT OF ORDER!
When I get on a train the first thing I do (apart from eyeing up the best looking bird) is to turn off my mobile telephone. I don’t want the inconvenience or embarrassment of somebody ringing me when I am in an enclosed space where others would have no choice but to listen to my one-sided conversation. It would be embarrassing for me and them so I turn it off for the sake of my fellow passengers. I must be unique however as everyone else on the planet it seems are selfish, ignorant and downright rude when it comes to mobile phone use. I am fuming about it! Okay there might occasionally be a real need to make contact with someone when on a train, if so then apologise to those around you, speak quietly using your hand to muffle the sound and keep it short and snappy. Tell them you will call back later for Gods sake!
Don’t get me wrong, mobile phones are a great invention and I would not be without one. They can be a godsend and even save lives. They are of great practical use and it’s hard to imagine how we ever survived without them 20 years ago. The problem is of course – the people who use them.
Look dear, I don’t want to hear what you did last night, what you thought of Big Brother, which blokes you are shagging, how you are getting on at work and when your next period is due – just shut the phuck up bitch!
Last time I was on a train, a person just behind me was on his mobile for the whole of the journey. It was truly awful and by the time I got off the train I knew everything there was to know about this bloke. I knew more about him than his own mother – but I didn’t phucking want to know anything about him. I just wanted him die horribly. People around the carriage didn’t know where to look, they shook their heads in disbelief or bowed them in his shame and were literally cringing with embarrassment. Yet this twat went on spouting out his life story to the rest of us. How can people be like that? How can they sit there with people on all sides of them and continue to talk utter bollocks and not feel humiliated? These people really are the scum of the Earth.
There should be a code of practice for mobile phone use. A bit like the Highway Code for road users. A written and physical test should then be taken and only if you pass would you be allowed to own and use a mobile. This sort of thing would not be necessary of course if people were courteous to their fellow man and not so HIDEOUSLY PHUCKING RUDE, IGNORANT AND THICK!! , but alas it seems most mobile users are.
Phuck ‘em.
Men in Replica Football Shirts
Pikey Gypo Low-life
People With Personal Number Plates
BBC Local Radio
Unsolicited Phone Calls
Jehovah’s Witnesses & Other Religious Twats
Lager Drinkers
People Who Think Their Kids Are Cute
Civil Servants
Morris Dancers
Women Drivers
Viewers of ‘Reality TV’
Blokes That Shave Their Heads to Look ‘Hard’
Traffic Wardens are ‘cool’
People Who Still Use Cheques
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