Scum of the earth clearly.
What would you rather drink?
A fresh, living, dynamic, natural ale that has been part of our country’s heritage for centuries. A pint made from the finest barley, hops and yeast, fermented naturally, cask conditioned and served fresh from the barrel by traditional hand pump into an eager glass.
Or/
Some sterile, chilled, unnatural fizzy piss with added essence of alcohol added for effect. Delivered from a chiller unit, under nitrogen gas pressure, tasteless, chemical laden, bland, dead, lifeless and with a shelf life of many months.
Absolutely astonishing!
Yet, go into any pub in the
The brewery companies aren’t stupid – they would love it if everyone drank sterile, keg lager, because there is absolutely no wastage and it can’t go off.
Real ale however has to be carefully looked after and allowed to settle. It must be consumed within a week or so of spiking the barrel, and there can be a lot of wastage to get it tasting just right. So what do they do?– They brainwash the public (mainly the young thick impressionable males) using expensive flashy advertising to make them want to drink their vile fizzy urine instead.
Real ale is full of variety – every brewery has it’s own recipe and brewing process and there are a multitude of subtle tastes and strengths to keep you forever interested in the next pint.
However this is all lost on the current thick arseholes who insist on drinking cold gassed-up lager and is very likely to be lost forever if present trends continue.
Real Ale is very much a British phenomenon, and it is practically impossible to find a pint of it brewed outside these fair islands. We should all be proud and celebrate it, not drink overpriced, gassed up yellow mouthwash.
I’m sure the breweries could save even more money if they simply took the piss straight form the pub urinals, through a filter, quickly chill it, pump it with lots of gas, chill some more, add neat alcohol, add some chemicals and send it straight back to the pump in the bar. I defy any stupid lager drinker to tell the difference.
That would really bring new meaning to the expression – “taking the piss.”
Coming Soon…
People Who Think Their Kids Are Cute
Civil Servants
Morris Dancers
Women Drivers
Viewers of ‘Reality TV’
Blokes That Shave Their Heads to Look ‘Hard’
Traffic Wardens are ‘cool’
People Who Still Use Cheques in Shops
Post Office Queues
Sociologists and Psychiatrists
Metal Detector Enthusiasts
Going to the Cinema
BT Engineers
Talkative Neighbours
Teenagers
2 comments:
Excellent article - spot on as usual.
I wish I had your talent and mastery of the English language.
Can you not start up a political party? You would romp home with a manifesto based on your blog posts.
Hmmmmhhh...
Your reasoning is basically sound, but you are overlooking the fact that lager is a reasonably acceptable and more reliable alternative to a decent pint of ale, in pubs that don't serve it.
However... I have personally witnessed you consume at least 1,000 pints of lager (conservative estimate!) over the past 20 years or so. I also recall you swearing off ale and onto lager for a period of several years in the late 80's, just to make a rebellious point!
Post a Comment